They threw me out of the coffee shop.

so the christmas in Oberon Mall of Cochin looks pretty neat. This is the the first time I have seen Christmas celebrations.
So I sat in the coffee shop on a Monday afternoon because it was a Christmas holiday. I had a Mocha and the coffee shop guys should take it as a compliment that theirs is one of the best brews I have ever had. And I wrote in my notebook. I had a good time writing. Amazing. Awesome. Terrific. So good that I wrote for three hours.

And then they kicked me out. He said something in Mallu but I got the gist.

I walked back home. I said it looks very barren and bleak and dull and hot and suck-your-life outta-you urban. So I said take photos of this

scene and put it up online. Take all your anger ou

t.

in life good things are very rare. Interestingly they can be abundant too. It depends on your point of view. The thing is life is full of uncertainties. I believe in that. The chaos, the absence of rules, the improbability, randomness and sometimes unfair and ruthlessness of life and nature. its scary. and its unavoidable. It is so scary and every decision we take we stare at darkness and wonder if we can have faith in something..... something. our gut instincts, god, parents, friends. So randomly we stumble on good and bad things. I recently had a feeling after watching Band Baaja Baarat(BBB) that there is this abundant amount of happiness and love and joy and energy in store in life. Its all out there. Its such a delicate matter. Even as i type this my perspective is walking along a very thin edge. I say its matter of perspective. To be happy and find contentment. Once we have that point of view we can see the abundance.

.. but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst..

Was Lester Burnham or the writer Alan Ball from American Beauty talking about this? this very same feeling that i got when I saw a particular scene in BBB? perhaps...
Nikhilesh you take movies too seriously. They are just movies- thats all and nothing more. but nothing seems real. nothing lasts and nothing is worth keeping faith in. real people are as dramatic as filmi characters and just as unpredictable. so whats the harm in deriving pleasure from the film characters? its all maya. (You seriously lack social interaction niks.)
So I love this movie. in a way that i have never loved a hindi movie before. not even dev d which i cut open and it cut my brain open. This one left me with a little pain. I felt sad, i dont know how to describe this feeling. A little miserable. shruti kakkar and bittu sharma had so much life to them that the movie did not seem to contain it. maybe the pain had something to do with loss of innocence. it had for me elements of friendship, cuteness .... things that have nothing to do with sex. but when the story took the turn towards the conflict, it kills me. there is something raw about them when they fight. the rustic delhi style is of course delicious("Aur bhai Bittoo!?") but that probably has given me the pain i was talking about.
ok i seriously feel there was so much more to the relationship of bittu and shruti. director maneesh sharma showed tremendous promise with the first half but somehow wrapped up pretty quickly in the second half.the song dum dum wasnt even half as good as avain avain. again its painful to see anushka wearing that dress. the end was an anticlimax. i hoped we could see them working together in love - they never do that in the film - they re either working as friends or as rivals but never as a couple in love. what i wouldnt give to see that. maybe maneesh sharma wanted to show how the girl helped shape an aimless loafer like bittoo. in the end again its what bittoo wants - she shouldnt marry chetan because bittoo loves her. but why didnt bittoo apologise in the first place.i wish we could see shruti hurting more than what was depicted. after the break up the characters become caricatures. they are not themselves anymore. anushka had a good scene with the mirror - that was the pivotal scene of the film and kudos to her for that. she has amazing acting talent - we may have in her a comedienne too. a rarity in bollywood.
ok i cant write anymore

HP 7.1

I watched the social network last week. HP 7.1 the day before yesterday. I will write in detail about the social network experience shortly but right now about HP 7.1. I really wasn’t much looking forward to it. It has been widely acknowledged that the HP movies have been disappointing. The trend which started since prisoner of Azkaban has been disrupted only in goblet of fire. I think movies 3, 5 and 6 have been terribly disappointing. I wish someone did to HP films what Jason reitman did for up in the air. Characters seem soulless. They all seem to be following a trajectory dictated probably by the producers or movie studios. There seemed to be magic in the script only to amuse the 6 year olds.
But 7.1 finally has a bit of soul. Not all. It was the very first film with a really soulful beginning. And I took it seriously. After looking at all three of main characters reminiscing in their homes, I became hopeful and it promised to be a good film. In the film David Yates used handheld camera for close ups, sepecially for Daniel radcliffe giving a really nice and intimate connection to that character. Or so it felt to me. Now most important reason why hp movies succeed or fail is how they are written. And the movie is faithful to the book. What set this fil apart from others is the photography. I am sure everyone was looking forward to how the three would be picturised in the wilderness. I was hoping for more green, dark, damp and mountainous woods. But that’s just me. The job done in open areas here is admirable too. It looks beautiful. The director succeeds in depicting the void among the friends. He has succeeded in inducing realism in this fantasy movie.
I was begging in my mind, please tell us the story of the three brothers. And they did. By Hermione no less. Her voice is amazing I really enjoyed the little animated sequence. The pace is a tad slow. Using a slow pace he has succeeded in making it realistinc but it just climbed a couple of notches for me. Insead they sacrificed detailed accounts of e Gregorovich and the elder wand. Most of the viewers were obviously baffled by such subplots. In the ministry of magic they did not show how ron solved the raining problem in the minister’s office. The movie could have been more dense and detailed and yet slow in the places where it needed to be. It deserved to e slow when they are in the woods. Now audience will always crave for more screen presence of many beloved characters. Director and writer cant always fulfill such wishes but they do have to work hard. We know its hard to squeeze in more time for ginny, snape, bellatrix, draco, lupin and his wife. But you have to! Just look at aaron sorkin’s beautiful work in the social network. All the characters are not only well developed but also deliver a coherent account of the story. Each adds a dimension which is unique. Each has a color and flavour. But we have ginny just asking to zip her dress and snogging. Off you go. Snape with his measured quivers of lips and dead straight eyes delivers two dialogues. Draco reluctant of the dark side is simple terrified to open his mouth. Lupin is in the “save Harry Potter” party hardly speaks apart from shoving want in people’s faces to detect imposters.
Writing j k rowling’s books into 2 hour movie is a tough task. But they signed up for it and they got paid too. So we the fans should be angry for such a shallow job.
One line I liked the most was by ron. The three are preparing to gulp polyjuice potion
“this is barking mad”
“absolutely mad”
Ron: “the whole world’s gone mad….”

A very observation which should resonate in muggle world too. Things hitherto considered crazy are happening daily and that has nothing to do with magic. A very wise quip made me happy.

Glengarry Glen Ross ... one of those films

who knows what salesmen really are? what kinda work they do and what they go through?I have immense respect for them. For the good ones i mean. i am in awe of them. but i cant be one. it was not like i gave up, i just made a choice, albeit one year in to the job.
long time ago i saw the trailers of the film rocket singh salesmen of the year, and i thought these guys have no idea what salesmen do. real salesmen would watch it and laugh. i guess the diro of tis movie is the same as that of chak de india and i have seen neither of the 2 movies. he should see glengarry glen ross. that film was made way back in 1992 and it was about real estate salesmen. life of a salesman aint fun. by now i shouldve learnt movies dont depict life. its so much more complex than that. but check out al pacino and jack lemmon in gleengarry and it ll blow your mind. interestingly both glengarry and rocket werent financial rockets. its a mystery, what works for films. if rocket singh didnt work because it didnt portray the life of a salesman accurately then glengarry didnt work because it was too honest in its portrayal and in turn it became too bleak (and for audiences like indian too much of a headache )to be enjoyed. pursuit of happyness on the other hand was not so much about salesmanship as it was about hope and perseverence. the two things are required for salesmanship but the portrayal of salesman's qualities itself was a small parrt of that film. but i believe somewhere the film (happyness) transcended real life and took us to places of joy and hope and achievement and thus it succeds.
glengarry is rare coz of many reasons - in a matter of less than 24 hours it takes you through lives of salesmen, small glimpses reveal just the fraction of what salesmen deal with day in and day out. its fascinating. the "moral hazards" and personally the fact that its all good ..... there is nothing right or wrong, nothing good or bad. just the targets that count. either you get them or you dont.
me on the other hand just dont wanna play the game.
all these things about morality are on a bigger scale, philosophical or something, but at little scale of moments between people, tricks and unnamed glances exchanged between wolves - thats the beauty of this film. all the gems are there especially al pacino and lemmon. watch it here

a paragraph from Alice in wonderland, full of loneliness (in my opinion)

`Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!


first pointed out by Bibliophile

saw beauty and the beast. and i thought how these film makers can have such a sense of uniiversality of stories. how come in the final sequence of the story, when gaston attacks the enchanted castle and tries to kill the beast, he has been given a bow and arrow. a bow n arrow!! how unusual i thought. and guess who's known to use bow n arrows among hindus??
and i thought, man, beauty and the beast is the story of ramayana turned upside down. and of course the gigantic way in which details of ramayana and its sub plots are another issue. but from a simplistic plot of a ove triangle the two stories are anologous.
am i the only one who thinks like this? coz im still pretty baffled by the ingenius gesture by disney of giving gaston the bow n arrow.

PS: the instances of subliminal imagery in Disney movies have made me paranoid, sort of. so every time u see disney, you wanna look for some chinks.

i try to breathe.... just breathe as the song ends

.....some day i'll be an old lady
with a big dress and an apron
a babushka and bare feet
i'll be out in my garden
on my hands and knees
and i'll be singing a song
that is really sad and sweet

mommy and daddy your baby is grown
and the smell of the cold, wet dirt reminds me home

from Chemistry written and sung by Kimya Dawson

who knows what salesmen really are? what kinda work they do and what they go through?I have immense respect for them. For the good ones i mean. i am in awe of them. but i cant be one. it was not like i gave up, i just made a choice, albeit one year in to the job.
long time ago i saw the trailers of the film rocket singh salesmen of the year, and i thought these guys have no idea what salesmen do. real salesmen would watch it and laugh. i guess the diro of tis movie is the same as that of chak de india and i have seen neither of the 2 movies. he should see glengarry glen ross. that film was made way back in 1992 and it was about real estate salesmen. life of a salesman aint fun. by now i shouldve learnt movies dont depict life. its so much more complex than that. but check out al pacino and jack lemmon in gleengarry and it ll blow your mind. interestingly both glengarry and rocket werent financial rockets. its a mystery, what works for films. if rocket singh didnt work because it didnt portray the life of a salesman accurately then glengarry didnt work because it was too honest in its portrayal and in turn it became too bleak (and for audiences like indian too much of a headache )to be enjoyed. pursuit of happyness on the other hand was not so much about salesmanship as it was about hope and perseverence. the two things are required for salesmanship but the portrayal of salesman's qualities itself was a small parrt of that film. but i believe somewhere the film (happyness) transcended real life and took us to places of joy and hope and achievement and thus it succeds.
glengarry is rare coz of many reasons - in a matter of less than 24 hours it takes you through lives of salesmen, small glimpses reveal just the fraction of what salesmen deal with day in and day out. its fascinating. the "moral hazards" and personally the fact that its all good ..... there is nothing right or wrong, nothing good or bad. just the targets that count. either you get them or you dont.
me on the other hand just dont wanna play the game.
all these things about morality are on a bigger scale, philosophical or something, but at little scale of moments between people, tricks and unnamed glances exchanged between wolves - thats the beauty of this film. all the gems are there especially al pacino and lemmon. watch it here

Detective Somerset: Gentlemen, gentlemen... All these books, a world of knowledge at your fingertips, and you play poker all night.

- Seven (1995)
made by David Fincher
written by Andrew Kevin Walker

never a break

my favourite part of rab ne bana di jodi is the one which does not feature any of the leading actors of the movie. nothing is happening in that part. maybe no one gets excited by it. since it was a yash raj super starrer everyone was excited for obvious reasons. but what stays with me to this day is the first minute of the movie. the first minute shows the land of punjab, rural landscape, yellow mornings, sandy eyed dirty linen clad rustics. i can go on and on. the north indian rural landscape is my sweetheart. i hated it first. but back then i was a child. i had a craving for cleaner, greener and better smelling places to live. but things come around and their meaning for us changes.
i stumbled on jai arjun's review and it brought back all the memories. he makes very good observations about the movie. very fine acting by shahrukh occasionally. the film has some rare gems by shahrukh. which makes me think highly of aditya chopra. but that thought last only a while. you feel, how is it that someone who has all the financial backing of a legendary movie studio, sharp insight into the indian psyche and good movie making skills fall prey to song and dance frivolity. you need to have at least one meaningless multi starrer belly shaking, cleavage plunging, pelvis jerking dance number. we do have some good things about our movie but that wont sell the movie. the song does.
what else sells in india? religion. i was bleeding from my ear every time i heard the word "rab" in every possible context from love to vegetables. interestingly the word rab is used in different religions for god. and i believe the tendency of people of relating most aspects of life with god has been exploited. lot have criticised the movie for plot loopholes but they did enjoy it. because its amusing - songs, jokes, gags, style. our movies are focused on maintaining the size of brain of indian masses, especially the youth, at the size of a pea. that is true for more than half of bollywood. but what is interesting is this movie is non elitist, gives victory to the geek and yet is hit coz of reasons same as any other masala flick.

of death and noodle salad

i have never seen anyone die. i did lose my grandfather in 2000. i realized how much i loved him and respected him long after we lost him. in small things his memory crops up.
in 2000 he had gone to dubai and didnt return. and back then i dont remember how i was. maybe i was arrogant. i didnt love people as passionately as i do now. and i have never experienced loss. when we lost him i didnt feel any stabbing pain or loss. i am 25 years old and i feel time is volatile. the most mysterious thing. things get closer and move farther away in a swift way, like they are dancing and its meaningless.
if i were to see a dead person i knew what would i feel? i have read about people who died of no reason. millions die for no reason. millions for a higher cause, a divine cause. but what will i feel if i were to see a dead person? all the life behind is gone. love sorrow grief thrills money sins.

"Some have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good."

We have stories of the past. boats, trees, cool breeze, sunshine and noodle salads. dark corners of our loved homes. faces of loved ones as they change, wrinkles and lumpy skin and flesh and hair ignored. surfaces, tears and edges of living things. colours shine and weights of objects. gravels and specks of dust. green grass on heavy rains. i remember. some judge them to never consider them. i have grown to love all of them. and on a dead man's face their life would all be lost.