Friday, November 18, 2016

tamasha notes 2

Tamasha is about having your priorities straight. This is about getting real. The need for having real relationships. Tara is willing to make a compromise and get married with Ved. But Ved is far gone. He will not let a relationship built on compromise. He knows this, who he has become is not really him. He will have to go through hell to get rid of the robot he has become. To be a real human being he will have to peel his layers away. Then he can become the man who deserves tara's love.

here's how the story os not willing to conform to the gender roles. Ved makes fun of Tara's decision to become a martyr. She blames herself when she apologises to him for what she said, for rejecting him. Ved says her apology is not doing anyone any good. This has been the traditional female role. The one who does wrong and who must make the compromise in order for the "Story" (Hence the relevance of the theme of "Same old story") to have the appropriate "they lived happily ever after" conclusion. Why? Why the same old story over and over again? the story of the boy doing so many things to convince the girl? Tamasha is the story of a boy correcting himself in order to be the best he can be. thus the love story.

Sunday, October 02, 2016

Sairat (2016) Notes 1

सांगवं ना बोलवं ना मनं झुरतया दुरून
पळतया टळतया वळतयं मागं फिरून.......
सजलं रं धजलं रं लाज काजला सारलं
येंधळ हे गोंधळलं लाङ लाङ गेलं हरुन.......
भाळलं असं ऊरातं पालवाया लागलं 
हे ओढं लागली मनातं चाळवायां लागलं
याडं लागलं गं याडं लागलं गं

Listening to this I am reminded of the fact that Sairat is such a classic tragedy. In these lines the young hero of the film says that his heart has lost its way. The heart has lost all the sanity. It is like a child that gets too cute with itself. English language is insufficient to express the emotion of the line - "laad laad gela harun" What i can say closest to its effect is that, the heart of the boy is now gone silly, and is getting too cute with itself.
This shade of falling in love for the first time in life, I think is the heart of this tragedy. Listening to it now the sadness feels more raw. They were so true to themselves to have fallen so hard in love, yet at the same time so foolhardy and naive. That exact naivete cost them their lives. The love at that age for these two seems to me was such that did not care for much else apart from each other. I mean to say it was selfish love. The boy, Parshya, did not mush care to what happened to his family after he left the village.

I think only this young can we be so shamelessly honest and also stupid enough to go against the norms of the society. When you are old, you can call us cynical or wise, depends on the perspective. But i know i will lose of i set myself a challenge like the one in sairat. :)

the song

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Tamasha (2015) Notes part 1 Subversion and the Eunuch

Subversion and the Eunuch

The role of the eunuch in the film Tamasha (2015) is, apart from being funny is also symbolic. And it is a very important symbol. Ved gives her the ring. She is engaged to him so to speak. This is a stretch I understand for many. But more important than the stretch of imagination is the subversion.

I am in love with this subversion. I am inspired by this subversion. It is the subversion of the the role of the traditional heterosexual Indian male. It is this doubt that creeps up in the psyche of the Indian male, the sign of weakness that overpowers his spirit if and when he does not conform to his traditional role. If he does not do the job defined by the society, he is not man enough. If he strays away from the challenges as defined by the order (Patriarchal order) he is not man enough. The path to self discovery runs contradictory to the roles assigned to every gender by the society.

Marriage in this context could also be seen as another construct imposed upon the individual. He might as well give the ring to a eunuch rather than to the woman he is attracted to. Eunuchs face ostracism in India, the same way Dev will be ostracized for following his heart. The ring too in the film is an item of social construct, an inevitable next step in the scheme of things dictated by the norms. Dev has been "robotic" (as seen in the opening in the film) in the way he progressed in his relationship with Tara until the point she rejected his ring.

As Ved sits among many other applicants for an interview we can see he is sinking in self doubt. Who is he? Will he be himself if he betrays what he wants? Is he a "napunsak" for insulting his capacities? or for conforming to the society?

And then in the next shot you see the eunuch send him a flying kiss, and parys to god for his well being  as she stands in front of his car.

The playback song meanwhile says

you are someone else.
you know that.
in front of this world,
there is a mask,
(and) you are someone else, someone else.
why aren’t you what you are?

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

'I do not want to stay in a house with all its windows and doors
shut. I want a house with all its windows and doors open where
the cultural breezes of all lands and nations blow through my
house. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any.'

-Mahatma Gandhi

i want i want i want. yeah.
easier said than done, mohandas.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Agent Phil Coulson is Jesus

Agent Phil Coulson is Jesus. Actually he's not Jesus, he's just a run-of the mill human being. BUT HE DIED FOR US!
Norse god Loki killed him while superhumans were busy quarreling among each other. This gave Nick Fury an opportunity to say "He died for us!" and get all the superheros all sentimental thinking his blood is metaphorically on their hands. But its actually on Captain America collector cards - nerd awesomeness. Actually nerd analogue of religious artifact to give purpose to the group.

But what just happened - the humanist Joss Whedon just turned the tables in the human - superhuman- god scheme of things. For once the ordinary human being is at the reason to go to war, um against um, the infamous puny god. (Asgardians please dont hurt us because we hurt your delicate sentiments.)
Avengers are avenging an ordinary human being killed by a god. Put like that - who would think its the idea of one of the most entertaining films ever made? Death of Phil Coulson is the reason that for the first time they come together for one purpose. A noble message - why not join our forces for the good of the human?

Move over Nolan, Whedon's here, he will plant a dangerous idea in your mind, while you're wide awake without a whiz, smooth as a Ninja. A storyteller who made one of the highest grossing films ever without pissing most of the people off. Well played, Whedon, well played.

Lesson 1. Human beings matter. Only question that should matter at all, more important than "Does god exist?" is "What can we do to help human beings?"

Lesson 2. All those directors crying foul about their movies getting banned for various reasons - get crafty with your shiz, yo! Concealing dangerous ideas in movies full of awesomeness is SO much more fun.

On hind sight Batman trilogy seems too highbrow, obscure and pseudo intellectual compared to Whedon's formula for mass entertainment and clever thought. On hinder than hindsight, how can I ever stop loving the flip-a-truck-n-introduce-a-little-anarchy-joker-batman love story?

Update! on yet another viewing of the film, look what I found!

Selvig: "The Tesseract is showing me so much. It''s more than knowledge, it's truth."
The sleepy eyed Stellan Skaarsgard had a line which will easily be missed by many but whoooa! Joss Whedon had weaved it so dark and twisted it makes me drool. And its profound in most unlikely places like this. Actually observe how major part of the movie are conversations, especially the first half, most audience which came to avengers would be so bored. But agree with me or not I think above quotation is atheist. For the context its really good you watch the movie again.
Also the Captain America character is the most intriguing. He seems very republican and nationalist. He will say stuff like "Son,...just don't!" and "There's only one God and he doesnt dress like that."
And guess what, he has been asleep for 60 years. In terms of ideology and preachiness, please read between the lines what Joss is saying (or secretly laughing?) about those who agree with Captain America.

Friday, January 25, 2013

For a long time I was brooding on how people are adamant on not allowing books and relationships to change their character and habits. Then I read two quotes which I had already known - "Be the change" by Mohandas and second was illuminating- "You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way - that's learning" by Doris Lessing. I think Lessing's quote will ring everytime I learn something new or old.
By the way how about calling Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi by his first name and addressing his individuality ...flaws and all, instead of the enigma of the imaginary so called mahatma .....and give congress party the finger.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Its so easy being an adult spend hours and hours talking to people trying to change their opinion. One feels as if they are on a mission to change other people and change the world because you feel you are right. There is feeling that you have a noble mission to change the world for the better and you can change other people because you are so wise and you speak so well (especially because you are a teacher or professor) and you have so many years' experience shaping lives.
And you can also shower luxuries and love and cozy cliches of modern life but fact remains that you want to change others but you dont want to change yourself.
I respect that self awareness that you are humble enough to say that there is more to me that even I cannot comprehend. I can be better than even I cannot know. There is more to know and there are ways to live other than known by the world. What I am saying is about the humility even in the pink of things when all is good in life you are brave enough to say "Its possible that there is something wrong with my attitude or if not wrong yet there are ways in which I can improve or change and change for better of myself and my family"

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

The worst thing about growing up is to see that all people are not made equal. Time and again people give the proof that men or women, rich or poor, high or low caste, hindu or muslim, so on and so on get treated differently. This continuous assault on reason, common sense and compassion and humanity comes in different forms and shapes.
Rape is one such form when people feel that women deserve less respect because of their sex. Its as if this nation is waking up to the fact that women deserve equality with men.
Organizations of power- the government, religions, corporations and families seem to further divide rather than unite people. 

Saturday, December 01, 2012

Of love and respect and sentiments

There was this guy, just like you and me, who was working in a company and earning a living. And he was just another bloke, work, work and apart from that lot of beers and food and good time with friends. Maybe he had a girlfriend and they were really fond of each other.
The worst and most peculiar thing that you can say  about him is that he never read newspaper, or books or any news channels. He could survive very well, yeah, you see he knew enough of engineering or science or language or coding or selling to keep a job that pays for the rent and booze.
X on the other hand is a politician. The writer can safely say that he cannot be arrested for not providing all of the details about X.
One fine day Guy decides, "I dont like X." He says this on Facebook and Twitter and all that. He climbs on rooftops and yells "I don't like X". A man peeing in the street corner was distracted.

So they arrested him and raided his uncle's hospital.

"All that you do is eat chicken, drink beer and watch porn." (This somehow reminded him of an episode from FRIENDS but that's beside the point.) "What have YOU ever done for your fellow Indians? What do you know about Indian politics and history and how things are done here? Do you know how many people support X? By disrespecting X you've hurt sentiments and thats a thing so big the country is lucky it did not lead to bigger riots"

He was so afraid now. He was afraid he might lose his job because no company would hire anyone who's been arrested. His girlfriend would leave him. Which totally makes sense because such stupidity is not a sign of a goodfellow. His friends would mock his recklessness 'cause why would he do such a thing? His parents would be ashamed of him, feel guilty about perhaps not having taught him enough about the real world. How would they answer their relatives?

"I may not know shit, I may be stupid but do I have the right to say stuff?
I have learnt my lesson.
Never disagree. And above all, why tell it to others?"

Friday, November 09, 2012


Neo: Who are you?
Trinity: My name is Trinity.
Neo: Trinity... [pauses] The Trinity that cracked the IRS d-base?
Trinity: That was a long time ago.
Neo: Jesus.
Trinity: What?
Neo: I just thought that... you were a guy.
Trinity: Most guys do.

There is a certain someone called Lana Wachowski. Matrix can now be watched again for the different interpretations. For the record I am straight. But I am fascinated by the stories where people have changed identities so powerfully and at the same time have embraced art and philosophy. I plan on studying the texts  which served as inspiration for The Matrix. Useful Website.
Renewed interest in the Wachowskis due to the life changing experience called Cloud Atlas.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Joss Whedon is amazing. I was driving and wondering about what he has said. Nothing is more important than how we treat people. Think of keeping faith in human beings in terms of three traffic signals on the road, as in my case it really happened.
On the first signal suppose you get a red light, but its a very small signal and everyone is tempted to  jump it. Many do. But awesome guy that I am I listed to my conscience. You wait for it to be green and go. On the second one 5-10 seconds are past since it was green so you're going a little bit faster lest it turns orange. But one wise guy is jumping the signal and you almost collide with him. Luckily that doesnt happen. And you're on your way to the third signal. If the third traffic signal is red, will you jump it? How can you trust people to do the right thing? If wrong was done to you who would you take revenge from?

 Faith in god means believing absolutely in something with no proof whatsoever. Faith in humanity means believing absolutely in something with a huge amount of proof to the contrary. We are the true believers. 

Some where one of the early human not killed by wild animals in the jungle after  hunting and gathering thought to himself/ herself that sharing food would be better than eating alone. Maybe they could have fun and dance with each other in the heat or rain or snow when there was no TV or FB.

Point is humanism predates religion. We did not need sky bully to tell us what was the right thing to do and how we could survive, be selfish about that and yet share among our peers and have a good time.

Here's what I know - There is no Justice in this world. The sooner we understand this the better it is for us to decide whats the right thing to do. That burning desire to right the wronged. Undo the undone. It can never be undone. Many lives have been ruined in that desire for fulfilling the need for justice. Society with its cliches and media and advertising would have us believe what is right and what we should aim for, what sons should buy their parents and what father should do for his son and what love means. We need a higher power to dictate morality and define the purpose of life. We want to live in a way that conforms with the environment around us. But there was a time when you asked questions. Your mind was probably flooded with questions and you satisfied yourself with answers from the environment - your parents, friends, media, newspapers. Yet somewhere your chain of question might lead to where Joss Whedon is -

I believe that the only reality is how we treat each other. The morality comes from the absence of any grander scheme... Not from the presence of any grander scheme.
Another good quote is from Daniel Handler -

 "I'm not a believer in predetermined fates, being rewarded for one's efforts. I'm not a believer in karma. The reason why I try to be a good person is because I think it's the right thing to do. If I commit fewer bad acts there will be fewer bad acts, maybe other people will join in committing fewer bad acts, and in time there will be fewer and fewer of them"

So it might sound arrogant - there is no entity divine or not to decide you whats right or not. As quite literal in the first example - you wont get a green signal for the morally right thing to do. So for that there's this thing called responsibility. Do good to others. Dont be unjust. Are we to follow this? Who decides? You. There is nothing up there to make decisions for you. its a void. From sounding arrogant it boils down to responsibility. 

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Foreign supermodels are Indian actresses?

Nargis Farkhri and Amy Jackson are supermodels draped in Indian costumes, with  hindi voiceovers from an uncredited artist who says all their dialogues. The way the status of Indian actress is diminished that its a sense of justice that Rockstar and Ek Diwana Tha (EDT), didn't garner either praise or revenues. Brands being sold in EDT are HDFC, PVR, Syntel etc. Seduction via visuals, commercialization and commoditization - it extends to the Indian actress as well. People with film-making resources and talents think of the female lead as ...White skinned. Firangi. Body of the supermodel. Is there a turn on in knowing that under the traditional Indian dress is the body foreign woman. Is there a sense of triumph? Are they assuming Indian audience is thinking from their penis? So they cast such women who cannot speak Hindi (or regional languages) let alone act. When did films get reduced to only the functions of pleasure, seduction or style? I mean we've had item numbers since 60s or 70s and Indian woman's place in cinema has never been such exactly a premium (except for the good old false pride and hypocrisy of Mother India or Kabhi Khushi Kabhi ghum) but I find it a shame that when it comes to the female acting itself is now expendable. Quite literally if she doesn't have a voice of her own - its perfectly fine. Who gives a shit.
The original Tamil film - Vinnaithandi Varuvaaya touched me intermittently even though subtitles were patchy. I loved its ending very much. Its curious that the same director - Menon made the Hindi version which has acting so bad its an abomination. The ending is changed from the original and its a strangling of a dream if Menon ever had one with VTV.
I am biased towards foreign films not because there people as shallow as described above don't make movies but because occasionally someone like Steven Spielberg tells you that audience is so much wiser than you think. I've seen predominantly regional language speaking Indian audience - shedding tears for a film called War Horse. We all pine for good storytelling and acting. What we need are films irrespective of language or cultural barriers that touch and appeal to our humanity and higher sensibility.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Atonement ("The story can resume...")

“Find you, love you, marry you, and live without shame.” 
Could a man's life, at one point in it, be summed up in the above sentence? Would that be an indifferent oversimplification or just doing away of the trivial burdens of the rest of the life.
For the past week I have been taken in by Atonement. As it happens with me, I am always "taken in" .... bewitched, by one film or the other and it is a compulsion to watch it again and again till the parts of the whole start becoming smaller and smaller , till they become mundane. The progression is, the parts of the film become bigger, (vis-a- vis the whole) in repeated viewings, reveal themselves, enchant me, and then in further viewing start becoming smaller and mundane (which is sad and I wish I could consciously avoid it. Its possible to avoid it and i'm, working on it) So, I've loved Atonement, the movie. I am reading the novel and haven't finished it. While I'm reading it, the things I  instinctively felt about the tragedy, the story of the film were confirmed by the first seven chapters of the novel (that's where I'm at right now). I cried a lot. A lot. And I havent felt this way about a hero, the way I have about Robbie Turner, and Briony Tallis. I am happy that a character like Briony Tallis was created and am more than pleased with its portrayal by Ronan.
I was in love with the music of the film, especially, Elegy for Dunkirk and the four and a half minute long, uninterrupted shot, a single shot. I cant put into words (that is the reason I have started the study of literature, sentences and words and enrolled for a degree in English) how this single shot made me cry (of course) and touched the unseen parts of my heart. I am now thinking if the fact that its single shot worked against the film in some ways. The shot led me to explore its beautiful and powerful soundtrack and I somehow ended up listening to a lot of soundtracks of many films - among them - James Newton Howard's Sixth Sense. I thought, Atonement would very well fall apart in front of external logic (Do you see how the Robbie being accused of the crime is treated illogically, how can he be raping Lola if the cousins can testify he was the one who found them? Its lame how a bee draws Briony to witness the fountain encounter and a fallen ornament to the library.) But Shyamalan's films are enthusiastically accused and suffer this very argument  and  are disliked because it seems he's losing his touch and critics seem to take pleasure of this sad progression or decline of his career unfolding in front of their eyes.
Never let me go (2010) and now Atonement. I like these movies because they give me pain. Just give me eternal pain and sorrow, destitution, desolation, misery and most importantly, misfortune. A sense of pre determination, fate, loss of control and power over life, something shared by us all, Robbie and soldiers of war - a war which plays dice with lives of courageous noble men of honor. I thought of that part of our heart that says, this is it, this is the misfortune I've been given, because I have done something wrong - a mistake by the library - what my body made me do - the impulses of the body felt so strongly and uncontrollable in the moment. The part of our heart which makes a different choice of emotion - of pain and misery. How can we choose to be sad? unhappy? When Robbie talks with Cee in the cafe before leaving for the war, he confesses his guilt - he wishes he hadnt done what he did in the library to her, and now that act will haunt him and ruin his life.
The case of the film Atonement descends into tragedy because the initial premise of languishing well being and comfort wasn't going anywhere in the first place. What with swims and wasting by the pool...Cee and Robbie were a class apart anyway and Robbie was in debt of Cee's father and that's just not man enough of him. Cee and her mother have nothing to do around the house and what is Robbie doing gardening around after a degree from Cambridge? Who the fuck cares what I think about any fucking movie that comes out in the horde of movies every fucking year? But no-one cares what you think about movies or about what you think about my opinions either. So- what its really about is one's expression and venting. Its a very selfish exercise and nobody should expect to make a living out of anything remotely like this or writing as a whole.
Robbie sees many 13 - 15 year old school girls dead and laid in front of him (it had to be little girls not a random agglomeration of dead bodies) and  nobody held accounted for murder of innocent while his life and lives of millions of soldiers of nations are expendable.
Children. Someone has to pay for the negligence towards children. For, no-one understands how frustrating it is to be a child (Remember what Clementine said? ...that was in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, by the way) and there is loneliness and helplessness when nobody understands your experiences as a child. The judgments about sex and love, intimacy, relationships that children -like Briony - derive, are misguided; but they were taken for granted, always, in the first place. When a child sees the act of love making by chance, he/ she is almost always alone and its always upto him what to make of it. How to deal with the horror or the otherworldliness of it. Thanks to McEwan a story is constructed so that people pay for taking for granted a 13 year old's perceptions. I mean who cares about the perceptions about sex of a 13 year old? Her mother certainly doesnt. Nobody cares to shape them, guide them and show the proper way. I am angry with this world of self help and religious buffoonery which is at your service for your problems of life when you are adults.  Sixth sense was about fears, healing and purpose of life and actions and conditions of a little boy. With stories of tragedy or premise of supernatural writers want to bring to light the confusion of childhood. A play is how Briony is dealing with the concept of love and everything surrounding her - as it turns out writing is the tool of dealing with childhood travesties for her and for the rest of her life, a support. Music of typewriter deftly conveys brutal snap judgments - it is Briony's language. In the end she,- a coward till the very end - a prisoner to the 13 year old self confesses she could not confront neither her sister nor Robbie. She could make a gesture of atonement the only way she knew - through writing. I think our inability to deal with children can be the single most important crime and the source of all our undoing.
The ending is the kicker. What is real? Have we been seeing the narrative of Briony herself? The ultimate vanity of a novelist? Did Briony decide,all along the narrative of Robbie and Cecilia's love that we see on screen? How will a happy ending change you? What purpose will be served by reality or honesty? Who's escape is it, the writer's or the reader's? It was she, the god, who gave them their happiness. In the face of Venessa Redgrave you see the 13 year old who hasnt changed, who still says it like it is, to the brain of a writer.
Could this film touch those who lost dear ones on the last day of evacuation of Dunkirk? Lives which  were changed by chance cruelly, simply swayed like a branch of a tree and a lifetime of love and longing was decreed.

Sunday, September 04, 2011

David Fincher's two sequences

Your honour, take a look at what David Fincher has done. If you look at the second halves of his last two films - The curious case of Benjamin Button and The social network, you will find sequences. These two sequences seem different and they, according to my keen eye, are there for a reason. A reason different than just telling the story of the film.
Most important thing to note is that they are sequences. They are like mini stories, they have a beginning, a middle and an end.
Secondly they're quite distinct from the flow of the story and yet connected to it in a very integral way, as my evidence that will follow, shall inconclusively prove.
They seem to give a new lease of life to viewers' point of view. They rouse their curiosity and give them an experience that is a bit slanting, for the lack of a better word, from what they've been having for the last hour or so.
They are strategically placed in the second half of the film because that is when, its my suspicion, that the attention of the audience is most susceptible to wane.
So first I present to you the Henley sequence from the Social Network.

This is the easier one to talk about. Quite clearly Mr. Finchers' skills as a music video director have come very handy here. A little introduction - till now in the film, Mark Zuckerberg has left Harvard and is working with Sean Parker on is start up. He seems to be in the hold of Sean's billion dollar ideas. Out of nowhere this sequence comes in. Dark blue and cloudy skies, lush green fields and great music to boot. The audience realizes that this is a complete change of scene from the academic environment of the film till now. Literally a different continent altogether. And it has no clue where and why we're here. Music slowly creeps till we see the Winklewii. Artistry of Fincher is in showing the intensity grow. For authenticity's sake Armie Hammer and his body double prepared like a real row crew member for the sake of this less-than two-minute sequence. We feel the intensity of competition grow - the theme of the film. 
The idea of the start up is like floating in the air among individuals and teams of Harvard. Question is who will make the most of it and get there first?
Second one is my favorite, its beautiful and its heart rending. This mini story has been narrated like Benjamin is a preacher, a very humble one at that..God, you gotta love Brad Pitt's voice. The shot shows him feet to the head - waiting for Daisy. We dont know why she's in a hospital. Things go in and out of sequence, depending on occurrence of the events. The director controls the experience that is being delivered to the audience and I have never seen a better example of this ever before. See for yourself - 2:20 to 2:50 -  these moments have been hair raising for me. See how ambient sounds of a hospital effect our emotions at 2:50 - 3:00. In this period I felt pain because we get to see how it could have been.  If only! A dancer would know the world of pain a broken leg can give. Sharp editing - voice over and shot of Daisy's broken leg in the hospital - that is the first sight of her. David Fincher you are genius
This film is about letting go. "Whether its because of accident or design. there's not a thing that we can do about it." Its a small demonstration of the uncertainty in out life. The question is the same that Forrest Gump asked his Momma at her grave. His life was the parable of the same - is life luck or fate or maybe both? On the other hand Benjamin Button's life is about being different - and letting go of the questions and comments about his age, his appearance.
Quite simply Daisy has been hit by a taxi, her ballet career is over. There's nothing she can do about it. But there is a way of narrating the incident. In doing that, David also demonstrates the inexplicable and absurd nature of life.

Come to think of it Bollywood director's use item songs, or songs of any kind to give a new lease of life to the second half of the film. Take a bow David Fincher - you do it so much more craftily.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The grotesque playground

Lets turn everything upside down.
If I am never able to be aware about my deepest fear, my weakest link, my bleed... What is it? If I said something and some one understood it. If I loved a film and someone loved it - shared my feelings about it, asked me questions.... If nobody understood what I wrote... So I refuse to make sense...
If I could say it all. If I died and all the people who knew me died then you know what would happen.
And she had pain. And now everyone is living. You were there for me.You scolded me and shouted at me and fed me and treasured my first movements and my voice and my tears. Where did it all go? What is it that I dont know? What is it that you had kept hidden in your heart? Maybe it wasnt there. If I could have been there. And you told me many more things. About your pain. About your memories. Then there were others. And there will be others. I listen and sway and time and its love and care and joy and anxieties and worries and pain are all gone with it. And there will be other loves and people who will care for me. Or maybe I will be alone and broken plastic and bags will obstruct me from moving. There will be no sunlight in the house and no one would know who were the ones who loved me.
There will be rainbows and dew laden gardens across the fences.
Even the mightiest lick feaces on a busy cackling narrow road. There is no justice. There is no god. I dont know anyone. Nobody knows me. Music, images, and words forget me. I never was. But I was given so much love. So much love! Unbounded, pure and unconditional. There was beauty and freedom. All for me. Nobody else. I didnt realize what hit me. I didnt know what I did? I landed on the other corner of the room. I got bruises on the leg. I was terrorized. I was confused and alone. I knew the faces of the walls. I fixed upon the rays of unlight and wooden edifices of my precious and cared and lonely life. Music came and went. Friends came and left.
There are reasons. There are obstacles. There is courage and need to do things which one doesnt want to do. To compete and make a mark. Achieve. Earn money. More than others. Prove to others. Show them. Work.Work.Work.Fight.Fight.Fight.Fight.Fight.Noble reasons.Upward motion. Goals. Courage taunts. So that you can have. HAVE. Want - the person, the things and the money and the house and the things.
What happens with books vaporizes. Films - basterds, vaporize. Music weeps, vaporizes. I turn away. There is another person. What could I say? The words about what? What matters, why this? I could say what others said and I could do what others did.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Authority and 'good,honest,innocent men'

The most important message of a crucifix, was how cruel supposedly sane human beings can be when under orders from a superior authority.
- Kurt Vonnegut

Charles Xavier: Erik, you said yourself - we're the better men. This is the time to prove it. There are thousands of men on those ships, good, honest, innocent men. They're just following orders!

Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto): I've been at the mercy of men just following orders... never
- X Men First Class

What would my Dad have done?

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Vinnaithandi Varuvaya

If I were a 22 year old and saw someone like Trisha day in and day out near my house I too would probably fall head over heels for her. But I'm me. Its hard to tell why people fall in love and whats that all about. How is physical attraction love? If people couldnt agree on the life's fundamental questions or were'nt humble to accept the differences then how can there be love? no matter how attractive they are. I'm way past that phase of love at first sight. how the hell does that happen and how do you know. geee...
But the film was very beautiful. I have become cynical about romance films. The one closest to my heart is Eternal sunshine.... anything shallow and pretentious just goes for a toss. and whats shallow you ask .... different blog post for that.
This film has good acting by the two leads, for most of the time in the film. Such films make me optimistic, that probably there's something real to romantic cinema.
This was my first Tamil film that I watched with subtitles. I had seen Anjali and Alai Payuthe. but that was not watching the film in the exact sense of the term.
Anyway, the film is good because it has a soul. A kind of craziness which few i ve seen to have the courage to be honest.
If its Bombay we destroy cinema halls cause we just cant stand that muslim and hindu got married. So the film says yeah its really difficult for such couple to survive. Its got the soul because it goes a couple of layers deeper in portraying the weaknesses and struggles the two have to go through. So the two will conform and will listen to the heart but wont withstand the pressures. They will live with broken hearts because nobody always gets everything. They conformed the way society and families wanted them to.
Towards the end I started loving the pain of staying apart. Its beautiful the way they are apart. No, dont live happily ever after. Thats not your fate. You be there incomplete and broken and in a gaping hole. You see the love which will never be yours and you stay there in your melancholy.
the heartbreak is what works for the film.
If you have to have everything you really need to take tough decisions. If your girlfriend needs to come down to be with you thats a personal front. On the work front you know you're learning the trade of filmmaking as a nobody, the producer may not allow his girlfriend to be on the set. Here I felt the dude really had to step up. That was the point where Jessie lost the struggle and caved in to family pressures. You know what, you want to chase your dream and have the girl of your dreams, you gotta step up. I love both of the characters precisely cause they are so human.
I was hoping that when Jessie says she doesnt like films, for the first time I thought she's just saying so as to repel him. Later it turns out she was serious, which was a bit confusing.
Dont get me wrong I loved the ending. I just hope the director showed some style in the way he showed the shattering the illusion of the two living happily for the rest of their lives.
This reminds me a quote from the movie A single man:

"Sometimes awful things have their own kind of beauty."

This beauty in weakness and struggle and just the fragility of being human is what I like in this film as I did in the eternal sunshine. As opposed to run of the mill films that worship how heroic the heroes are.
I was chuckling most of the time that I was watching because how frank the film was. I mean how do you just say "I love you" wierd. Regards to the very first line - In that age its difficult to separate the physical attraction from a solid relationship. The guy acted very well. Amazing in fact, the longing, the restlessness im sure many can realte to. As the time passes, where is the "chemistry" that he talks about when he was courting her?. To avoid fooling yourself and your loved one is a challenge.
i was also chuckling because i recalled the fond(?) memories of my time in kerala.
As always rahman's music defines the colors of emotions in new ways. Every song of his teaches me something new and there is a lot I can write about. And I love this tickling as I giggle and listen to 'Anbil Avan' right now - how these songs convey emotions to me when I cant understand a single word.
I love this poster too.
PS: I might as well have addressed this post to Keeths.