1.start exercise,most probably jogging,i dont think i can do anything else.maybe i will do gym too.
thx to czarina calling me"human renovation".I really am pretty much a tooted phooted and repaired multiple piece,so finally decided to do something about it.
2read more books.both my blog buddies give me goosebumps in that regard,gotta do something about that too.
3.CAT prep ,a do or die situation
4. hopefully it will be a psentisem,spend psenti time with good friends.
5.keep my room tidy.my new abode,my very own,has gotta be gr8,i am guilty of keeping my room at home crappy,but gotta take inspiration from Jassi.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Hols of colours so dark......part1
I never thought about colours.I never had liking for any sort of colour,but i do have an awful sense of choosing colours for my clothes(ya shiv sena bhagva T shirt),but this summer I developed a strong liking for dark shades.I travelled a lot.Rail reservations,cancellations,again reservations,check in,check out and as ibm says 'change of plans'.In travels found that dark colours have this magnetism,mysterious force which attracted me towards them.
But the beginnings were bright as they almost always are.It all started in Nagpur my so called hometown.Bright sunshine and a menacingly hot sun.It was May and the days seemed to be endless with heat so unbearable.I was moving on a Ladybird in a big city while kids younger than me were moving on motorcycles.Dekh loonga.Days seemed to pass very slowly,waiting for some relief....until darkness raised its head which was seemingly ugly at that time..Well this was partly due to the state electricity board, so many nights in the weeks were now drowned in darkness.The hours now seemed even more endless.Just me and my grandma,with one thin candle and such unmeasurable sum of darkness.We were just two people with nothing in common except the genes,sitting in a small middle class Indian house in Ramdaspeth.The air outside just as unmoving as the one inside.The house seemed so full to me now.Darkness encapsulated the sphere of yellow light coming from the feeble candle.As though darkness would just strangle its neck from all directions,yet light emanates so elegantly and effortlessly.The four walls were now invisible,but the house seemed to close in on me somehow and i felt as though all the luggage of three families stuffed in the house will just fall on me and I will be crushed under it.Unnamed species of a fly tried to attack me but ended up in the blob of a wax around the candle.The fly was such a distraction.I had just started to feel my mind.In the darkness i did not know what I was looking at.And all I could percieve was my mind.All I was doing was thinking and pondering over matters.And at that point i liked the darkness so very much because it gave me the freedom of being nobody,i felt like my mind was just free to think in any direction.There was nothing tangible to percieve and to focus at,just my ideas and consciousness.
Then came the trip to the city of joy.Catcutta or Kolkata now.the trip was pretty small,just two days.I loved the dark red bricked buildings.Roads were rusty and shops were small and narrow.There were moments of total void on railway stations,where in procrastination i developed a habit of tracing the inheritance of facial features of children sitting around me from their parents who were so busy burying their faces into film magz.An old lady was sitting next to me and I amazed in wonder... this would be the way our respected and adored senior Veena would look like when she grows old i said.
End of part one
Chandlerism:"Could we get some help here??? It's kind of an emergency. But I guess you knew that, or else we'd be in the Predicament Room!!"
Whats on my mind....
Travel back home!! yessssss!!! new abode.......cranberries still("You're a dream to me...dream to me... ")......confusion over next sem courses, which sadly spills over to confusion about my life in general
But the beginnings were bright as they almost always are.It all started in Nagpur my so called hometown.Bright sunshine and a menacingly hot sun.It was May and the days seemed to be endless with heat so unbearable.I was moving on a Ladybird in a big city while kids younger than me were moving on motorcycles.Dekh loonga.Days seemed to pass very slowly,waiting for some relief....until darkness raised its head which was seemingly ugly at that time..Well this was partly due to the state electricity board, so many nights in the weeks were now drowned in darkness.The hours now seemed even more endless.Just me and my grandma,with one thin candle and such unmeasurable sum of darkness.We were just two people with nothing in common except the genes,sitting in a small middle class Indian house in Ramdaspeth.The air outside just as unmoving as the one inside.The house seemed so full to me now.Darkness encapsulated the sphere of yellow light coming from the feeble candle.As though darkness would just strangle its neck from all directions,yet light emanates so elegantly and effortlessly.The four walls were now invisible,but the house seemed to close in on me somehow and i felt as though all the luggage of three families stuffed in the house will just fall on me and I will be crushed under it.Unnamed species of a fly tried to attack me but ended up in the blob of a wax around the candle.The fly was such a distraction.I had just started to feel my mind.In the darkness i did not know what I was looking at.And all I could percieve was my mind.All I was doing was thinking and pondering over matters.And at that point i liked the darkness so very much because it gave me the freedom of being nobody,i felt like my mind was just free to think in any direction.There was nothing tangible to percieve and to focus at,just my ideas and consciousness.
Then came the trip to the city of joy.Catcutta or Kolkata now.the trip was pretty small,just two days.I loved the dark red bricked buildings.Roads were rusty and shops were small and narrow.There were moments of total void on railway stations,where in procrastination i developed a habit of tracing the inheritance of facial features of children sitting around me from their parents who were so busy burying their faces into film magz.An old lady was sitting next to me and I amazed in wonder... this would be the way our respected and adored senior Veena would look like when she grows old i said.
End of part one
Chandlerism:"Could we get some help here??? It's kind of an emergency. But I guess you knew that, or else we'd be in the Predicament Room!!"
Whats on my mind....
Travel back home!! yessssss!!! new abode.......cranberries still("You're a dream to me...dream to me... ")......confusion over next sem courses, which sadly spills over to confusion about my life in general
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Gen Ramblings.......with a nostalgia
Sometimes the things happening to me remind me of a nice song that i heard not so long ago.So amazingly similar as if it was meant to be.Things had to happen that way.As if it was written somwhere that it will definitely happen........... and again, it reminds you of a book. You think why and there is no perfect answer.Things just fall into place.You still dont have any control over them.Sometimes its scary.Sometimes it isnt.
Three.Split into three.Well one wonders if its sad or parting should mean bad news.But sometimes situations sit in a null category.You just cannot categorize stuff.Also I believe people have this strong urge to put men,situations and places into categories.Name them.Judge them.I suppose we love to live in a stereotypical world,with heroes,jerks,jokers,intellectuals,airheads,mahatmas,GODs,fans,flirts,spoiled brats,and what not around us.Every man has his story.People may never fall into particular class.I admit once I was guilty of calling someone Govinda.I felt that strong urge to propagate what all people say,though I was not fully sure of it.
So yes,I will live in a hostel for the first time in my life.Well, lots can be said and predicted,and lots has already been advised.But the place remains the same, the good old place of my dreams.I dont know how many more colours of this place i will get to see.To tell about this place is not the job to be done at a blogspot.No,even another blog wont suffice.As the "rediscovered" friend of mine would testify that putting into words the meaning of life at this place is next to impossible.But with the changing circumstances my life at this very place.......oh my god.My heart just fills up with a feeling of nostalgia.I give out a sigh.I change.This place changes and there is just nothing that i can do.Hell, i get poetic sometimes.......
then a rash and sick voice screams at me from the back of my mind..... "CAT ke liye ghot ch***ye!!!......&*%%$ #$^# marvayega kya!!".....yup thts my own voice.Damn the hostel language now......
P.S:Gen remembered a dialogue from F.R.I.E.N.D.S....Monica says to Rachel"if you're gonna be rational all the time then I cannot argue with you."
What's on my mind.....
Dreams by Cranberries.....Goa baby!.......my childhood.
Three.Split into three.Well one wonders if its sad or parting should mean bad news.But sometimes situations sit in a null category.You just cannot categorize stuff.Also I believe people have this strong urge to put men,situations and places into categories.Name them.Judge them.I suppose we love to live in a stereotypical world,with heroes,jerks,jokers,intellectuals,airheads,mahatmas,GODs,fans,flirts,spoiled brats,and what not around us.Every man has his story.People may never fall into particular class.I admit once I was guilty of calling someone Govinda.I felt that strong urge to propagate what all people say,though I was not fully sure of it.
So yes,I will live in a hostel for the first time in my life.Well, lots can be said and predicted,and lots has already been advised.But the place remains the same, the good old place of my dreams.I dont know how many more colours of this place i will get to see.To tell about this place is not the job to be done at a blogspot.No,even another blog wont suffice.As the "rediscovered" friend of mine would testify that putting into words the meaning of life at this place is next to impossible.But with the changing circumstances my life at this very place.......oh my god.My heart just fills up with a feeling of nostalgia.I give out a sigh.I change.This place changes and there is just nothing that i can do.Hell, i get poetic sometimes.......
then a rash and sick voice screams at me from the back of my mind..... "CAT ke liye ghot ch***ye!!!......&*%%$ #$^# marvayega kya!!".....yup thts my own voice.Damn the hostel language now......
P.S:Gen remembered a dialogue from F.R.I.E.N.D.S....Monica says to Rachel"if you're gonna be rational all the time then I cannot argue with you."
What's on my mind.....
Dreams by Cranberries.....Goa baby!.......my childhood.
Monday, July 04, 2005
a distant voice.....the blurred face..
tasveerein banati rehti hoon
main duti huee awazon par
ek chehra dhoondti rehti hoon
deewaron kabhi darwazon par
main apne paas nahin rehti
aur door se koi bulata hai.....
yeh rishta kya kehlata hai ....
yeh rishta kya kehlata hai?
Meenaxi
The brown confines of my room echo some distant voices,...voices of the mystic unknown....the voices spontaneously draw pictures in my mind,with a suttle dexterity......just like wet circles in a pond......I desparately seek a face...... I am sure these walls and the doors know ......but they morbidly stare back at me ....leaving me still more desparate,.....growing numb.....seeking something which evades me so mercilessly......then I seem to lose myself....I dont belong to myself ....then someone calls my name .......and I am out of my reverie.....who are you? what do I mean to you?.......what is this relationship?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)