If I could say it...

Yesterday we had to go to the railway station to book our tickets out of this place to our homes. And in the hot and bright sun at six and quarter in the evening we took a bus to the railway station. The heat is getting unbearable here day after day and I have started getting headaches due to the leathal mixture of heat and the foul smells from this rayon plant which strikes me always when I have to enter or leave the plant. Anyway, so we were on this small bus ride of seven minutes and we observed that a small child, six or seven years old was sitting in the other row of the seats in the bus to the left of us. He was wearing striped stony black and white shirt and pants made out of same cloth.He was contantly looking outside with enthusiasm and such curiosity from the window of the bus. A minute after the bus had left the grasim staff colony,in a moment of my utter wonder and amazement,he turned to us with a huge smile on his face,he started talking loudly in a peculiar madhya pradesh accent/dialect about which I am not sure. I couldn't understand what he was exactly telling us but he was so full of expression on his face and loud with his voice that we couldnt help but laugh.Monu and I made funny faces and made him laugh.The woman on the seat in front of him turned around with a smile and then we knew that she was his mother. She was wearing dark yellow saree and long dangling gold earrings. In the next moment I realised that he was telling us perhaps about what he was seeing from the windows outside. Then he stopped talking, sat still and shot a calm look outside through the window. Then after another minute had one more fit of sorts and animatedly talked again and this time I heard "Train gadi jayenge!" and I realised he was far too much excited about his train journey.After having a good laugh, something sunk in and I felt the convulsions in my brain harden, and I couldnt breathe,my mouth was open and the breath caught halfway in it.I wished I could say things from my heart without that hesitation. I left those days behind of uninhibited flair...when I treated even strangers as friends. This faithlessness, suspicion, confusion,doubt and evil has filled my head.It stops me from opening my mouth in front of all, close ones and strangers alike.
Then we reached the station stepped out of the bus and he left with his mother, talking so loudly about the train that we could hear from a distance.
I am in a cocoon I can never get out of.I want to go back.......I dont want all this.