from darkness to light

my sympathy isnt for free.

so keep all your things to yourself, i spent my time, energy and words into the void, but not anymore. i have decided to be more honest from now on. its better others and far more importantly for myself. i remembered i had read the following in a blog -

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

god, its so painfully difficult to implement. this process of letting go is very difficult. but THATS IT!its not wise enough to waste anymore blogspace on it either.
i did not have any class today, i took rest, completed my quota of sleep. fixed the room and washed clothes (first thing in the morning)
last time when i was at the doctor's i chanced at "men's health" magazine which i thought was good. i bought one today and planning to start exercise from tomorrow. ah, well this isnt first such plan, but i am starting afresh. nothing is obstructing me right now. everything is just the way i wanted and i have no complaints. i have my landmark forum on 14th. the whole course is of 3.5 days friday to sunday and the tuesday evening. i am really excited about it. something concrete which will change my life. i pasted some inspirational stuff on my wall today. the warden probably wont be happy but wtf.(we were not allowed to paste anything of the wall - for the fear that it would discolour or damage the wall paint) but i badly needed to change my surroundings to make things work for me. i started with database management systems today, also read about the appreciating rupee, how the indian government needs to be more proactive at handling inflation keeping the trade balance healthy for the domestic industries, take a lesson or two from china which has pegged its currency at a lower value to the us dollar.
tomorrow i am going to attend the international economics - amir khan class. long time since i listened to that crazy genius talk. tomorrow morning is going to be special - exercise - first thing in the morning. i watched "ER" religiously all the days while i was at home. hospital as an organisation, doctors as groups and teams are amazing. lots to learn. the program is amazing, performances are real and stories are engaging. kudos to the genius crichton who himself a doctor, conceived it. the lives of the doctors inspire me. the environment in the er is electric. the oft spoken "decision making under uncertainty" used in management is seen here, along with risk, teamwork, conflict resolution, negotiation, stress, not to mention courage and strength of character(i particularly remember the episode in which maura tierney's character is kidnapped by street fighting gangsters to take care of bullet-shot killer, which involved racial issues too, apart from the issue of definition of the doctor - she takes care of ANY person who is at her desk, no matter if he is a gangster, no matter if there is a danger of her losing her life after she treats her patient. that episode was riveting) i learnt that human mind has infinite capacity. physical capacity however is limited. its essential that you take care of your body, nurture it, provide proper nutrition, i need to exercise to be strong, that it will pay huge dividends to take care of my body right now before its too late. in 24 hours of the day, all the things you wish CAN be done.
someone said, the way you take bath everyday, you need to motivate youself every single day, every waking moment is in your hand - create it the way YOU want it. push yourself - or look for the magnets which pull in the right direction. make the complete efforts which take you from darkness to light.